3rd Confession

As usual I walk in like I own the place, frankly I do, I pay the bills and take care of my two Angels.

Ela, is standing, more of supporting her weight on the table, she’s only one and her eyes are fixed on the TV. I tip toe slowly passing behind her coz I know once she sees me she won’t let go. Amanda says I spoil her since whenever I get home that’s when Ela cries and throws all the tantrums until I hold her and give her my world.

I walk upstairs switching off my phone, I hope to surprise Amanda. Amanda is sited on the bed, her head on her hands. I don’t want to shock her, she’s carrying our next child.

“Baby…..” I say while throwing the jacket of my back on to the bed.

“uh…what the Fuck did I do?’ Amanda says now raising her voice,

“just tell me and please don’t lie, I know you have sleeping with someone else beside this matrimonial bed that you vowed to stick to”

I look up at Amanda, I see her bloody eyes, she is now looking straight at me while her right hand is on her neck as if she would snap it.

“Baby, i……don’t trip, it’s not what you think.”

Sarcastically laughing and more tears coming from her eyes.

” Huh! Classic, why didn’t I see this coming…”

I walk towards her, am trying to hold her but she pushes me back. I see that physically she is exhausted but at this moment, I see the life in her about to fade.

“why the fuck did you decide to cheat?”

Amanda is now raising her voice and trying to get out of the bed. I rush to assist her but she pushes me away

“ Tell me, why do this to us?”

I am a step back from her, with no words to say.

“ and please don’t lie,…swear it…” she couldn’t even finish her sentence she let herself fall on the bedroom floor.

Am on the floor trying to put my arms around her “ Baby it don’t matter”

Amanda is now hysterical and she is hitting me.

“ I hate you, I hate you, I hat………why? I just wanna know why?’

Am now trying to hold her face but she grabs me again and pushes me away. She rolls on the ground yelling and screaming out my name, and just like that Ela starts crying.

I move towards the wall, still on the floor. I am battling with myself, should I attend to my baby and leave my pregnant wife rolling and screaming on the floor. The more Amanda screamed the louder Ela’s cries got.

“what the fuck have I done?” I think to myself

I can’t tell Amanda to stop screaming, I mean hadn’t I just forfeited the rights to tell her anything. I can’t even help my two Angels, I had just brought hell to them, who am I if not the devil.

I look at my wife, yes, my wife, I usually call her by her name because I never want her to feel like I poses her but at this moment, she is mine and she hurting, I see all this in her eyes and I feel her anger.mir 2

I walk up to the bathroom and close the door behind me. I have to compose myself and do something but I look at the mirror and all I see was the man I hated, the man who had done the same thing to my mother, I see my father in that reflection. I had promised not to be like him, even when my mother taught me how to forgive, I believed he was the last being who deserved forgiveness in the whole wide world. Yet here I am, funny really, this apple didn’t fall far from the tree. I tell myself it can’t end here, history won’t have it in the end.

“Amanda, whoever is in that belly of yours and Ela, am sorry.”

                                                                               W.N

 

 

 

 

 

 

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